1. Your sister’s watching TV when you realize your favorite show is just starting. You
a) snatch the remote out of her hand and change the station before she can move.
b) tell her you’ve been dying to see the next show all week and ask if she’d mind changing the channel. If she lets you see your show of choice, you offer to take her place in washing dinner dishes.
c) turn and walk out of the room. If she’s there first, you know there’s no way you’ll get to see what you want.
2. It’s your brother’s birthday. You
a) pretend you forgot and promise you’ll remember his present next year. After all, he didn’t get you a gift last Christmas.
b) spring for gift certificates from Taco Bell.
c) borrow big bucks from a parent and buy him two new CDs. He’ll be expecting at least that much.
3. Your mom just discovered that her antique figurine is missing an arm. You saw your brother break it this morning. You
a) quickly inform Mom that he’s responsible. He deserves to be nailed.
b) admit he did it, but assure her it was an accident and he’s bummed about it.
c) take the heat for him by confessing it’s your fault. If you don’t, he’ll make you pay later.
4. Your sister forgot to clean the bathroom before she left for the mall with friends. You
a) ignore it. Mom will discover it soon, and Sis will get in big-time trouble.
b) clean it for her. The next time you can’t finish a chore, maybe she’ll handle it for you.
c) call a friend and see if you can spend the day, make that month, with her. Your sister will give you more hassle for not doing her job for her than she’ll get from Mom.
5. You spilled mustard down the front of your sister’s hot new peach sweater, which she reluctantly loaned you. You
a) stuff it in the hamper and hope that Mom can get the spot out. If not, you’ll deny knowing anything about it.
b) ’fess up to your sister, offering to pay for a dry cleaner to remove the stain. If it doesn’t come out, you’ll save to replace the sweater for her.
c) dash to the mall to buy another identical sweater, after hiding the evidence under your mattress. If she finds out, you’ll die.
6. You know your brother’s been sneaking into your room when you’re gone and messing with your stuff. You
a) wait till he’s shooting hoops to nab his prize comic book collection. When he discovers it’s gone, he’ll get the message he’d better leave your things alone.
b) confront him with your knowledge of what he’s done. Offer to stop borrowing his CDs if he’ll stay out of your room.
c) start hiding your diary and cash in a secret place, but don’t say anything to anyone. If he knows you’re on to him, he’ll make your life miserable.
7. At the church potluck dinner, you overhear your sister telling her friends about the major trouble you’re in with your parents. You
a) stomp over and let her buds in on one of her little embarrassing secrets.
b) approach with a smile and change the subject. Later you tell her you didn’t appreciate what she said and not to do it again.
c) hide out in the church kitchen. If you say anything, she’ll just put you down more.
8. You sprained your ankle and are on crutches. You’d like some pop, but it’s impossible to get it yourself. You
a) order your brother to hot-foot it into the kitchen for a can.
b) ask him to please get you a drink. You promise to make his favorite brownies once you’re recovered.
c) hope that Mom comes into the room soon. You know he’ll flat-out refuse helping you, so you don’t ask him.
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Scoring:
Give yourself THREE points for every “b” answer and ONE point for “a’s” or “c’s”.
Above 20: You seem to have a good relationship with your sibling(s). Neither of you is the other’s servant. Keep honest communication going, especially when there’s conflict. You may not always like each other, but you’ll always be family, so work to keep thing cool between you.
Between 20-15: It’s not so great between you and your sib(s). Either you think you have a personal slave or you’re treated like one. God had more in mind when He put you in the same family.
Start asking for His help. If you’re acting like a queen, pray to see your brother or sister as the Lord does. Commit to doing one kind thing a day for him or her. And when you’re ready to bark out an order, stop!
If you’re the one being a sib’s doormat, pray and kindly but firmly stand up for what’s right. You aren’t helping your brother or sister by allowing him or her to act this way — that behavior will probably carry over into other relationships, too. Remember, it takes time to change the way you relate to someone.
Below 15: You have some mega problems to deal with, and you’re going to need some outside help to do it. Confide in your parents, youth group leader or other trusted Christian adult. Ask him or her to pray with you and for you, and together come up with some definite goals for change.
Praying every day for your sib will help. It’s hard to stay mad at someone who you’re regularly praying for. You may also need to ask your brother or sister to forgive you for the hurt you’ve caused. Or you might be the one who must forgive.
Radically changing your relationship won’t be easy. Just worth it.
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